she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
