How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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