I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
