FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Little spoons don't ask big questions
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
