Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
