she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
