Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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