Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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