i would punch a child for taco bell
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i believe in u and ur pee
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
