my being single is dangerous.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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