I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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