so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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