Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
