I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
