I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize