we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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