Do vagina's smell?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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