And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
