Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize