i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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