i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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