I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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