Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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