I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
