this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
