I must be too annoying 4 u.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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