Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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