So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
