I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
