office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
