all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
