Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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