It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize