You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize