You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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