ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize