I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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