I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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