I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize