Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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