So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
