so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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