just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
