I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
