have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
