you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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