can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
