I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize