no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
