he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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