hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
