so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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