Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
