Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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