how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
