there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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