just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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