as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize