Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
