i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she smelled like a LAN party
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
