what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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