Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
God, I missed his penis.
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