I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
